Repellents, reactions

I think I am slowly being poisoned by mothballs and mosquito repellent. Last time I was here, the cleaning ladies would leave a few mothballs around the room. I would find each mothball and throw it out. Yuck. This year, there are mothballs *everywhere* — in every drawer, on every shelf, in every closet, and — rather oddly — there’s a mothball carefully placed in every drain in the house — kitchen, bathroom, living room (yes, there’s a sink in the living room. It’s to wash your hands before you eat.

Then there’s a small container of Mortein, a mosquito repellent, that plugs into the wall. I can’t smell it when it’s turned on, but I was swarmed by mosquitoes the night I left it turned off. So on it goes at night. Ugh.

***

Today at practice, my toe pain wasn’t too bad. In fact, it really didn’t hurt much at all for the first half of practice. At the end, after drop backs, I walked in to my heels and an assistant grabbed my hands and got me to hang on to my ankles. It’s a lot easier this year than it was last year! No panicky feeling or difficulty breathing, which is nice. And I didn’t have to hang on with a death grip. It’s really good to see that I’ve made some progress with my practice since I was last here. I did want to laugh though, because when he was pulling my hands to my ankles, he said, “Relax. Relax.” If I could have spoken, I would have said, “Seriously??”

It is *so* much easier to back bend here than it is at home. I’m not sure what is weather-related, or diet-related, or psyche-related, or Sharath-related, or energy-of-the-room-related, but it’s quite a dramatic difference. It’s almost like the air supports really deep stretching. 

Last year, the grabbing ankles in backbend thing was quite overwhelming. I felt a bit of reservation this morning when I realized that that was what the assistant was going to do, but once I was in the pose, it actually felt pretty awesome. It’s like getting folded inside out, somehow — and it feels quite liberating. Last year, during the forward bend squish that follows grabbing ankles, I felt freaked out and even thought I might have a panic attack. I’m really happy to be past that reaction.

Interesting, as always, to learn that strong reactions that seem totally real and reasonable will simply dissolve with time and practice. 

I’m hopping on conference calls for work now, so need to run. More later.

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